Understanding Cognitive Distortions: How Your Thoughts Fuel Anxiety

"I'm going to utterly fail my exam tomorrow."

"That was so embarrassing, she totally thinks I'm a huge weirdo."

"I haven't heard from my sister in a couple hours, I must have done something to upset her."

Do any of these thoughts sound familiar? Everyone experiences thoughts like these from time to time, especially when we experience uncomfortable or stressful situations that leave us feeling anxious, fearful, and embarrassed.

Cognitive distortions are patterns in our thinking that generate feelings of distress or discomfort, which can lead to maladaptive behaviors such as avoidance or overthinking. Cognitive distortions don't always accurately reflect the present moment, and they may include irrational perspectives that can make us even more upset.

As previously mentioned, everyone experiences cognitive distortions, but what makes these especially problematic in anxiety, OCD, depression, etc. is the significant amount of meaning attached to them. With these diagnoses, there is a misinterpretation of these thoughts as being true or significant, or somehow being reflective of who we are as people. This misinterpretation causes the brain to jump into fight-or-flight when the thoughts occur, making our distress even worse and further maintaining these symptoms.

It's very beneficial to be aware of cognitive distortions because once you start recognizing them, you can better decide what you want to do with them.

Knowledge is power. By knowing what to look for, we can call them out and make the choice not to further engage with that thought and redirect our attention back to what's actually important to us in the here-and-now.

This way, the thoughts lose their "shock factor" and the power that they have. For example, consider the following thoughts:

"I can't believe I stumbled over my words in front of my boss. She must think I'm so stupid, I'll be fired for sure."

Without knowing about cognitive distortions, these can be very distressing thoughts to experience. However, if we call out the catastrophizing, mind-reading, and fortune-telling that's occurring in these thoughts, we also indirectly call out their irrationality and likely inaccuracies of the present moment, thus making the thoughts not as heavy.

Here is a list of common cognitive distortions to keep an eye out for:

All-or-Nothing Thinking

Thinking in extremes; it’s either x or y, there’s no in-between

Examples

» If I don't get a perfect score on my test, I'm a failure.

» Making one mistake in my relationship makes me a bad partner.

» If I don't do this perfectly, something bad is going to happen.

Overgeneralizing

Taking one event and generalizing it to the rest of our lives and/or similar experiences that may happen in the future

Examples

» My cousin was rude to me, which makes everyone on my mom's side a jerk.

» I really screwed up that date, I'll never find love.

» Last time I took Mr. Smith's class I failed, so I won't take any of his classes again in the future.

Fortune Telling

Attempting to predict the future, but only predicting that bad things will happen

Examples

» I'm going to embarrass myself during tomorrow's presentation.

» If I go to that party, no one is going to talk to me.

» I've been single for so long, I'm never going to get married.

Filtering out the positive

Discounting all the positives just because something negative also happened, and if something good does happen, it must not be important or it “doesn’t count”

Examples

» When you determine that you had a bad day despite the positive events that occurred.

» You look back at a performance and declare it was terrible because you made a single mistake.

» I passed my exam this time, but it was just a fluke.

Catastrophizing

Believing things are much worse than they actually are; assuming worst-case scenarios are likely; "making a mountain out of a mole hill"

Examples

» My acne is so bad, no one's ever going to love me.

» I fell short on my budget this month, what if I go bankrupt or get evicted?

» My head hurts so bad, it must be a brain tumor.

Emotional Reasoning

Believing something must be true because it feels true, even though emotions aren't always based in reality

Examples

» If I'm this scared to move to a new city, maybe it's a sign that I shouldn't.

» I am worthless because I feel worthless.

» I feel like something bad will happen if I don't wash my hands two more times.

Labeling

Using a label to describe a behavior, error, person, experience, etc., often based on isolated incidents

Examples

» Thinking "I am such an idiot" vs. "I didn't study much for my test and didn't get the grade I wanted."

» Thinking "I am so ugly" when trying on new clothes vs. "I don't like how these clothes look on me"

» Other name-calling such as stupid, useless, worthless, etc.

Personalization

Taking the blame for some negative event even though you were not responsible, you could not have known to do differently, there were extenuating circumstances, or other people were involved

Examples

» My partner has a right to be so angry with me, I should have never said anything.

» I haven't heard from my sister in a couple hours, I must have done something to upset her.

» It's my fault for getting rear-ended, I don't usually turn down this road.

Mind Reading

Assuming you know how someone else is feeling or what they are thinking without any evidence

Examples

» I can't believe I just tripped up the stairs, those people must think I'm so clumsy.

» I haven't seen Tina since high school, she probably still hates my guts.

» That job interview was so awkward, I know they won't hire me now.

Should Statements / "Shoulding" Yourself

Telling yourself you should, should not, or should have done something; "shoulds" set an unrealistic expectation that you are not able to meet

Examples

» I shouldn't be upset over this, it's not that big of a deal.

» My outfit must be perfect or I won't get the job.

» I should have handled that argument differently, now my relationship is ruined.

This is by no means an exhaustive list, but hopefully gives you a place to start in moving through the world more freely and less impacted by your thoughts.

Wishing you a great rest of your week!

Julia